Writing Center 2

Rujian. Zhou

2/25/2016

I visited the writing center at this afternoon. It was my second time to visit it, which I went there for the critical analysis essay which compares the novel Me And You and the movie The Judge that I chose, and I learnt more things than last time.

Before I went to the writing center, I went to the library to print out my essay, which was very helpful for both Ms.Swift and me to make correction on it. Also, I prepared some questions to Ms.Swift. For example, I asked her about my thesis statement, which I had a lot of trouble to write it at first, because I need to summary and analysis a lot things in just one sentences. I was not sure about my thesis statement can express my thinking very well. Then Ms.Swift looked at my thesis statement which was “The power of love is always the strongest that can not be broken”. She agreed with me that this thesis statement need to change because it is too weak.

She suggested me to think about the novel and the movie in total. She first asked me about the story of the movie The judge. After I told her the story, she immediately wrote down some characteristic of Hank and his father. Both Lorenzo and Hank fear to something. For Lorenzo, he is afraid of being connection with others; and Hank is feared to face his family because he was responsible for the car accident happened before. And I can make more analysis around their fear. I was surprised about this idea, because I had never thought about this before. I was stuck into those common ideas such as love and familyship, and Ms.Swift’s words helped me have more idea about the essay.

Ms.Swift started to read my introduction paragraph very carefully. She did not just giving me her idea, but ask me what was my idea and what me want to tell in the sentences. Then she discussed my idea and make them more simply as well as express more clearly. She suggested me to use word “wisdom” instead of “wise”, which helped me to start my arguments. Then, based on what we discussed about Lorenzo and Hank’s fear, we came out a new, powerful thesis statement “True strength takes place when people overcome their fear and pain to connect with others.” I think this thesis statement is more suitable for my essay and my thinking.

Then we looked over the whole essay. I told Ms.Swift every sentences’ meaning - why I write them, then we talked about are they necessary for my essay or not. As a result, I deleted many useless and repeated sentences in my essay. Then I found out the essay turned out great, it became more focus on the thesis statement and it is very easy to read.

I got a lot of help in the writing center this time. The printed essay and those question turned out great in discussing the essay. More important, Ms.Swift introduced a new understanding of both novel and the movie, concluded my thinking as well. Also, when she explained her suggestions. She used a lot of examples in her life. Such as she used driving in highway to explain the fear Lorenzo and Hank. I could understand them easier and got the main point. The most impressive thing for me was how Ms.Swift is thinking. She has a lot of great ideas in her mind, but instead of telling them to me directly, she talks with me first, then tell me her suggestions to make my ideas better. In this way, I still have my own idea, but it is more refined and suitable for my essay.

Now, I need to work more on my essay because I am having a new thesis statement and there are many things I need to correct on my essay. In conclusion, I learnt a lot from Ms.Swift this afternoon. I hope I could go there earlier which I can have more time to correct the essay. I am looking forward to completed a great essay!